Romance

Is it time to define your relationship?

Even a few years ago, when online dating wasn’t such a craze, people would date for a while, and if they liked each other enough, they’d say yes to a committed relationship. Or they would actually believe in love at first sight and would jump headlong into a relationship. And when they would think that now that their relationship has been well-defined, they would be prepared to deal with all eventualities. But, experts say, modern dating is a bit more complicated these days, especially when you are logging on to multiple dating sites and getting spoilt for choice. In most cases, experts add, even after a few dates, you wouldn’t be able to find a clear answer to such questions as “Where are we heading?” or “How long should I wait to define our relationship?” Granted, there are no hard and fast rules as to when you would officially declare that you are in a relationship. But since you are investing your time in a blossoming liaison, you should try to gauge how long you should ideally wait to know if it’s a relationship or a fling. Here are a few pointers:

1. Varying speeds

If you like someone, you cannot possibly expect him to be thinking exactly like you. He’s a different person and his modus operandi might be radically different from yours. You might fall in love at a lightning speed, but he may be slow to react. If you’re too fast and if he’s too slow, maybe, defining the relationship can take quite some time. Whatever you do, do not push him to be faster.

2. Set a time frame

For yourself of course. Normally, relationship counsellors say that if, even after dating for a couple of months, the object of your desire is not ready to define your relationship as being more than a fling, you may consider moving on. In all probability, he will not commit even after six months or a year.

3. Check his online profile

After meeting you, has he deleted his online profile? Or is he still equally active on dating platforms. If you find him still searching, you better not wait for him to delete his online dating profile in order to tell you that you’re the One.

4. Chemistry matters

Some wait for their relationship to be completely defined before agreeing to sex. Others might jump right at it because they feel that sexual chemistry matters and they need to be intimate to see how they can take things further. If you belong to the latter school, you can fast-track your romantic decisions.

5. Wait for eternity?

That’s your choice. If you feel that you should continue dating a person even if the other person has made it clear that he isn’t ready to take matters seriously, wait for him at your own risk. You might think that you’d make him realise sooner or later how perfect you’re for him. But chances are this is going to end up as a classic case of unreciprocated love.

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